Updated: May 17
When we met with Jordan, she was in a place of transition. What have we always done, why have we done it, and should we continue to do it- that is transition. And as business owners, it is an important conversation to have with ourselves OFTEN. Sometimes, the transition seems small- bringing in a new employee, changing a pricing structure, altering a schedule. Other times, it’s a shutdown, a closure. And it can be anything in between. I often say to re-read your business plan, and to re-write it when necessary! The pandemic allowed us to realize that our businesses are not set in stone, and we can pivot to new ways of doing things without society destroying us.
Jordan shared what she learned through the past few years, and how we can lead with compassion and ALSO set boundaries. This creates an equal exchange of value between all involved, which is so important for mental health as well as success in business. Here is an excerpt:
Give me an example of something that you allowed in your space before you had this transition time that you no longer allow in your space and what that looks like.
We went through an excruciatingly painful experience in my business that floored me and floored a lot of other people in this space. And when I say floored, it’s a gentle way of saying we were completely obliterated and thrown onto the ground, truly.
When I started my business, I always said, I’m going to run my business. I’m going to lead my business with compassion. I heard that, like, 15 years ago- this woman said, “I lead my business with compassion,” and I loved that. What I didn’t realize was that there has to be a limit of compassion within your business. I didn’t limit my compassion and I was destroyed for it. So, there is an equal exchange of value in my space. If there’s inequality of value, that is not allowed in my space anymore. Because you carry that with you if you’re the only person sending out compassion. That’s relationships in general, right? But as a business owner, especially in small business, we take our employees in as family- we give them space, and our souls, and we worry about them, and we try to help them, and we want to better their lives to the extent that we can do so. When they come in and they have a lot on their plate, we become a therapist, we worry. But then you leave with that and you’re carrying that, and you’re worrying about that. But if they don’t give a shit back, and they’re just walking all over you, it’s exhausting. It’s suffocating, it’s hurtful. All of those different things. Often you don’t realize that as a business owner because you’re just on go-go-go. Again, it’s taking that step back and understanding that you need to be taken care of too. And to think about it in such a way that how do you take care of your employees, how do you take care of your kids, how do you take care of your animals, right?
I’m a very quiet and reserved person now. And it’s interesting to see the difference. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m unapologetically choosing to be the real me. I don’t believe that COVID necessarily was the thing. COVID was a slap in my face because I have always worked multiple jobs- I think it’s so important to talk about because I did great financially. That’s it. And that’s what people see as a business owner, as a leader, as a boss. No one takes a step back and asks how you’re doing and asks how you’re actually doing.
No one cares about it.
No, they don’t. And even the people that work with you, they don’t get it in that route, and that’s not their job to get it. It’s not their job to understand the respect that should be there.
COVID made me realize I had no idea how not to be a workaholic. And so, I call myself a recovering workaholic. I’m in recovery right now and it’s really hard because I’ll go into moments where I can go back and all of a sudden, I’m working 12 hours on my computer, and I didn’t even breathe. I didn’t realize it. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I lost my schedule. And so, I didn’t realize until recently that the past two years have been a mess because I didn’t have what I was used to and I had to learn all these new coping things.
Jordan and I talk about the aspect of money as a small business owner. We often get clumped into large businesses in the public eye, like the big box stores and the delivery services. But in actuality, as small business owners, losing money in the business is losing personal finances. We often keep our savings in the business, paying ourselves off any profits. And are the first people to not get paid when money is tight. Theft from a small business is theft from our family, our ability to pay our bills, our ability to pay ourselves. Every dollar paid out is our dollar, not some invisible “them” that controls the world. We have faces. You know us. After more than a decade in business, the pandemic took the last of our emotional effort to continue to give-give-give, with the idea that compassion has no boundary.
I was taking more clients, which is a completely opposite of what I wanted to do. But COVID was going to take my savings. I had to continue to work more. And that was when it got to the point of me saying that I have to run this business. I’m still a mom, I have a 16-year-old and I want to be home with her. This is the whole point of me having my own business. I didn’t work twelve years to be working 80 hours to pay you a paycheck because you won’t go and get your own clients. And that was it for me.
Jordan shifted to manifest the life she wants for herself and began to make changes to get there.
You can make whatever you need in whatever environment and capacity, as long as there is an equal exchange of value.
I love that.
Yeah. So, with that said, you can have whatever life you want. You can have whatever you need. Manifestation is a real thing. It’s 100% real thing. Every single thing I have in my life is because I have manifested it and I worked really hard for it. There’s no luck involved in that.
Everything that I did was strategically placed in order to have this stuff happen. All my decisions were based on making sure we got to this point. But you can have anything you want. You can make as much as you want. You can have whatever schedule you want. You have to be able to match that value in order to ask for that.
I walked away from this interview thinking about my own values of leadership and compassion, and I have made a concise effort to set limits in that compassion. I can be a good leader, I can be compassionate, and it doesn’t have to cost anything extra to do both, as long as there is an equal exchange of value… So much to sit with today.
Listen to the entire interview at realbossypod.podbean.com, or on your favorite podcast channel.
Be bold, be brave, be the boss. @bossyroc @gettingrealwithbossy
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